Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I Heart Cathy and Haikus

"Where's this finger been?
Pie, then Irving's special place,
Then more pie, donuts."

(spoken by Irving [or perhaps the dog])

"No boners for me,
How I long for death's embrace,
or a Good Crack whore."

"I ain't no crack whore,
It's just that, well, I smoke rock,
and I whore myself."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Girl, You Know It's Vrai

The finest tobacco in the world, as my palate discerns, is... Amsterdamer a Rouler. Having lived for a spell in Paris, there's nothing more relaxing than sitting back in a cafe or tabac, sipping a nice cappuccino, perhaps a glass of biere, and rolling, then smoking, a fine cigarette stuffed with said tobacco.

Unfortunately, you can only purchase this wonderful goodness in Europe, so in order to get ahold of such splendor, you must order online from wholesalers, and buy in bulk.

Thusly, four years ago, I came into possession of twelve packs of the eponymous goodness. Perhaps these days you can get it somewhere in major American cities (probably New York, Boston, etc..) but that was not the case then. So, as I am not much of a smoker, and usually smoke American Spirits when I do, for the last four years I have had this stuff in my freezer, slowly making my way through its wondrous, lung-buttering pleasantry.

Finally, I am on the second to last pack.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with this blog posting, other than the fact that I just smoked one. And it was wonderful. Especially with a beer, on a beautiful summer day, in my backyard, having worked a long 8 hour day, and, most importantly, after my self imposed sobriety ban - which was supposed to last at least six days, but made it three. Apparently, my body (or intensely racing mind) has not figured out how to sleep without drugs in it, so after a few three hour of sleep nights I had to put the k(i)ybash down on that one. At least I made it to to hump day, damnit.

My backyard is an interesting amalgamation these days. First of all, there's some construction going on. Namely for Suzie the Turtle, who lives in this aquarium, which the cats decided to investigate.

Soon, however, she will live in the splendor of the Turtle Pit...

.. situated immediately beneath the tree house.

Finally, for all you lovers of fine art, I present you my latest glass creation:

I call him Resin Man, or what happens when you get high, accidentally break a bunch of shit, then stick it all together. In a 2,000 degree flame of Oxygen and Propane.

You can't inspire everyone with such greatness.

Sobriety Ban, eat shit.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Knee of Listening

Since it is, indeed, Independence Day, I decided that, in honor of mine own personal celebration of non-enslavement, I'd deign to share a bit of myself, with you, Dear Reader.

First of all, I am thrilled that Italy went through against Germany - I love the run that Klinsmann and the boys had, and I am a big fan of Jens Lehmann, as I do favor Arsenal as far as club teams go - but I am, at heart, an Italian American. The resolute Cannavaro and amazing Buffon merited their illustrious win. For my Peoples.

However, I remain despondent over the England loss. As a fan of the Premiership, I have come to know and love this England side. Crouchy, Rooney, Gerrard, Terry, Rio - all excellent players, and I sincerely believed a victory over Portugal was the likeliest result. My damn English friend got me hooked on Euro 2004 and that was it. A tough loss - but please, make your fucking penalty kick. And if you don't, at least kick the fucking thing hard.

Another thing that I shall share today is that I am, at heart, not only an Italian-American, but a Musician, as well.

Yes, it is true.

So, in honor of the Candy Minx, who left two comments on my last post, thusly earning automatic honorable mention (and possibly the title) for Commenter of the Year, and Melina, who staunchly supports and loves independent music (after all, it is Independence day), and finally, Miss Tanya, who, unbeknownst to herself, showed me how to host music through CastPost and put it on this here site (and also has a penchant for cover songs), I bequeath to all of you, originally recorded by 10,000 Maniacs, as the Candy Minx exclaims about herself, she's...

... Candy Everybody Wants.