Thursday, November 08, 2007

Farm Dogs

Last month, I went back home to Massachusetts, to visit not only family, but friends.

Yes, both.

I have a friend who lives in Vermont - this picture was taken just down the street from his sweet ass house.
It was here that I learned about Farm dogs.

You see, we were walking said Friend's golden retrievers, and went into the driveway of this farm, to talk to his neighbors.

Immediately, three dogs begin barking. One, a boxer-pit bull hybrid (pictured!) , chained to a picnic table. No real threat there. The second, a little yappy dog, whom I figured I could put down with minimal (strong kick to head) force.

The third, however, was unlike any beast I have ever seen. I just did a google image search for "Farm Dog," and nothing came up which remotely resembled this terrible beast. Then I tried "disgusting dog," and again, nada.

This dog looked like a lion. Crossed with a poodle. It had nasty white curls, poodle-esque, but dirty. And large. And blood dripping down it's jaws and chin. Looked kind of like a sheep dog, but much, much larger. If you were walking down one of these Vermont roads, nothing but countryside surrounding you, and this dog came waltzing down the middle of the road toward you, you would fucking die. Shit yourself with fear. Just a scary beast.
And the reason the animal had blood all over his face?
One of the cows had just given birth. After inspecting us, deciding that the two retrievers made us slightly not killable, the Farm Dog strolled back over to his side of the yard, where he resumed nibbling on something.
Cow Placenta.
"You see," said the farmer, walking toward us, "Every farm needs a good farm dog. Say you got a sick animal, you gotta put it down. What the hell you gonna do with what's left? Farm Dog take care of it. Stray Cats, Dogs getting at your animals and their food? Farm Dog. Afterbirth, animal parts - Farm Dog."

Farm Dog Indeed.