Saturday, December 03, 2005

Greatest. Halloween. Costume. EVER.

My roommate, Mr. C. Ellsworth A., the fully functional GOLDEN SHOWER.

It's got valves. It's gold. There's a shower curtain. AND IT IS FULLY FUNCTIONAL.

In order to achieve such functionality, there's step 1: Fill the shower.

Step 2: Put on the golden suit of darkness. Pose with other roommate (the good lady Abigail).

Step 3: Flip the switch, fill the pitcher with thine own fluids.

.. All the way.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The night passed comfortably until, in a cataclysmic halloween moment, women as far away as Latvia, and, daresay Estonia began to feel a slight, indefinable sense of.. sad unrest.. as..


Wait, what's that? Sorry? Oh, MY costume. Surely I would not withhold such important information, especially from YOU, Dear Reader.

I waivered between the now deceased Yassir Arafat,

.. oftentime indulging my L. Ron Hubbard side..

.. All the while partying with rock stars..

.. Being an illicit defiler of pumpkins..

.. Oftentimes merely witnessing their debased defilement..

.. Practitioner of ancient "Drunken cheek-to- chest" kung fu stylings..

.. And Private Dancer... A Dancer for money..

Do what you want me to do.


Blogger HERESTOBEER.COM said...

dude, you blow glass AND you're funny. top blog! keep it up. but don't you worry about lung disease? and i don't mean the smoking.


Blogger David said...


I often cough in the middle of the day, no reason, intense, phlegmy.. yet painful.. dry.. unsatisfactory.

Glass Dust.. Oxidized metal fumes.. A veritable cornucopia within me very air bags..

But bring it on, I say. Evolution arrives on the palate of necessity, and bemoans, fragily, "Time has come Today."


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