Monday, October 24, 2005

Morality is the New Depravity

..And from there shifteth the paradigm (As Paradigm is the New Enigma). From such intersolligistic syllogism, the truth that all have known becometh incarnate: Tangent is the New CoSine. And corollary to such analysis, Sine is the New Square Root; Morality, the New Depravity. That for which we had hoped is the new Fucking shit that we got and You sunk my battleship is the new drowning in the seas of your actions. Fret not, for Fretting is the New Confidence, and in face of Passivity as the New Aggression, the odds say you're better off just Faking it.

"A query, sir," spaketh the Adept. "Is Now not the New Then?"
Nary a head shake; nary a fleshy quiver.

"You deign not to Answer? Then I am free to Speculate. For like Earthen Paradise is the New Gomorrah, so is Masochism the New Massage, and weaker the Greater Man. Punctuation is the New Happenstance Occurrence; Maidenhead the New Dowry. Thruppence, yay, t'is true, SixPence! Singest I not the Songs of Yesteryear, in the hopeful voice of Tomorrow, Vainly Striving for Goals of a Time Yet Unseen?"

"As Silence is the New Parlance," he affected, "And Contradiction the New Accord, 'Twould I speak in Riddles? Tossin' is the New Turning; Fit, the New Rich. White Chocolate Macademia Nut is the New Chocolate Chip. 'Tuesday Afternoon' is the New 'Easy' Like Sunday Morning. FIFA is the New Madden. "

"Crosseth not my doorstep with such exultations of Indecency! For, Learned Are You Not that Prophecy is the New Heresy? Meat the New Vegetable? Here, Meet the New Vegetable!"
He passes him a cucumber.

" Missionary is the New AutoErotic Asphyxiation Involving a John Deere Tractor. That being said is the new This never spoken; words, the new Thoughts; Abortions, the New ReInsertions."
"But Plaintative Effort? Perhaps, the New..."

"The New Sloth. Away from my Doorstep, Adept." Smiling, he grasped the man's hand in a bond of fraternal farewell. "Remember, my son, Arse is the New Vag; Entrance the New Exit, and Cheap Puns abound. Seek not the Dionysian fantasy of Old, for on that path lies Folly. If Folly you see, a nickel times Three, Yields Ten and Five Brisquets-a-Molly."

"My teacher, mine Eyes shalnt alight such a blight in this night for four score and six cocks-a-crowing. The duration of their salutation be my Salvation. "
"Sur la pont, d'Avignon."
"L'on Y Danse."
" Yes," he replied, closing the door. "L'on Y Danse."


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