"The Sparrows are flying again, George!"

That's right... Motherfucking Avian Bird Flu in the house!

Every time your cat crawls on your chest to purr, licks/bites a part of your body, you are at risk of getting the ole' A.B.F. from the chewed-sparrows-of-yesteryear.

And I thought it was bad that when my cat scratched me with his claws or whacked me in face while trying to sleep, the worst part was that he was waving that-which-he-uses-to-bury-his-shit near my region of oral consumption.

And all this time I was only worried about something as mild as, say, the hantavirus?

At least I know what to do when I get a burning case of..




















... Ingest handfuls of narcotics and operate heavy machinery.