Thursday, July 31, 2008

Colon Superfood Showdown Round 3: Brett Favre


Aujourd'hui nous allons parler de Colon Superfood numéro trois, Brett Favre.

Yes, the entire Brett Favre situation is a superfood in itself. It makes my colon happy, resplendent with its toned excellence. Why? What does Brett Favre have to do with my colon?

The answer is: Shit, as in "I don't give one shit, or two shitts about Brett Favre's situation." Look - I like the guy, but couldn't give a crap. Sign for a team in the division, sign for the Chargers. I don't care.

Having said that, though, I actually could give a crap. Because, as you know, I love to poop. Next time I let one loose, I'll look down in the bowl, and say, "That's for you, #4." In fact, I extend this offer to all my readers (ahem) - I will give a crap, for YOU. So next time you say, "No one cares about me!" and you go into your corner, cry, or curl into the corner of your nearest shower, saying "I feel so dirty," etc, say a new mantra. In fact, here is your new Mantra:

"Someone gives a crap for me." You can even personalize it - "David gives a crap for me."

Because I do. Every day. Unless I've eaten a lot of starches and am dehydrated, in which case, I may have to Give a Crap for You Tomorrow. But I will.

I promise.


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