Monday, July 28, 2008

Colon Super Foods Showdown- Round 1

Yes, you read it correctly - I am going to tell you about colon superfoods.

Why all the talk about colons lately?

Well, I am a man who likes his colon, specifically its well-being, integrity, and the untenable je ne sais quoi which keeps me going back for more. Back to the john, that is, to use my fully functional eliminating matrix.

So, now that you have that image burned into your mind, know this: The Superfood I have chosen for you in round one of our showcase showdown (tm) will have you gasping for air. Screaming for Mercy. Begging for salvation. Just remember: Only the peninent man will pass. But even the penitent man has trouble passing stones. In fact, it makes a man go from penitent to suppine in minimal tiempo. I imagine I would be troubled by such a passing, as well. That's why I drink a lot of water. In fact, we'll give water de facto position # 1/2 on the Colon Super Food showdown. And remember, Radex Malores es Cupiditat.

But, now is not the time for such unpleaseantries, but quite the opposite - Es La Hora de Cucci Cucci! And to help in this time of great cucci cucci, you need the astonishing, revelatory power of my Colon SuperFood #1, which is.....

On Friday, I ate half of a honeydew melon. Or canteloupe. Not sure which it was, but all I know is that on Saturday - Full on poop festival.
Although I did consume a lot of beer and tequila in Tijuana on Friday night, so perhaps that had something to do with it. But, I digress; today is Melon's time: Es la hora de melon. And I am not one to step on someone's hora with wanton parlance of something else. So, for a healthy colon, eat melon. You'll poop great.
Stay tuned for continuing updates to the Colon Super Foods Showdown. All. This. Fucking. Week.


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